Yesterday the kids and I went to Wal Mart (which may as well be an Olympic sport these days, let me tell you). Apparently at Wal Mart they have people trying to sell you things in addition to all of the things you can buy on the shelves. We were walking near the electronics when a young man asked me what kind of television provider we use. I smiled and said "Oh, we don't do tv anymore." I may as well have told him we live on the moon or sleep standing up. He couldn't hide his shock. "But...what do you do for FUN?" came out of his mouth almost immediately. I told him I've recently gotten into running again. He looked at me skeptically and said "Well, you look happy."
He's right. For the first time ever, I think I'm truly, genuinely happy. Letting go of what I thought I needed, enjoying life for what it is, connecting with people I love, it's changed me. I don't have crippling anxiety anymore. I feel healthier and less rushed and more intentional about my life. I don't obsess over my size or my looks or over how many people like me. I'm finally finding my worth in the Lord, not in anyone or anything else.
It's amazing. I think for the first time in my life, I am okay with me.
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