Waiting to grow up and go to college and move out and be an adult.
Waiting to get married.
Waiting, oh the agonizing waiting, to be a mother.
Waiting to be a mother again.
The years I've spent waiting.
I'm learning something at thirty.
Life doesn't just have to be about waiting for the next grand adventure.
Sometimes the best moments are now.
I spent the three years we tried for another baby so sad. My heart longed to give my boy a sibling.
When I look back on it now, yes, it was sad, but there was also a lot of joy. A lot of fun and laughter and life being lived. I wish I could go back and tell myself that it would all turn out okay. That I didn't have to fear the future, that I could just LIVE and it would be enough.
It's not quite time for baby number three. I know it in my heart.
I'm determined to do things differently.
I can enjoy the now.
The now with my beautiful boys, growing so fast.
The now of being thirty, as I start to notice a few gray hairs and realize that I won't have this metabolism forever, so I may as well enjoy a little ice cream. The now of being old enough to know how life works, yet young enough to change things.
I don't want to spend the rest of my days waiting.
Now is so good.
Plans are great, plans are exciting, but now is real.
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