Welcome! I'm Angela. This is my little corner of the web where I write about my adventures as a boy mom. I love my husband and my kids and coffee and all things chocolate. I'm a horrible cook but I love reading recipes. I am currently teaching my five year old how to read and the importance of hygiene. My other boy is currently teething, so I may sound a little sleep deprived at times. We're a homeschooling, slightly crunchy bunch. We're a little cooky but we sure do love being a family. We can be found down by the river every weekend.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Did we fail?

We remodeled our first home. Put in hours upon hours of work, used up our tax return and our weekends and a chunk of our life. We got things looking great, and we put our house up for sale. It was scary. I don't like the idea of strangers in my home, seeing where my family sleeps and eats and all of that. But I told myself countless times that it was worth it because Ben and I have been so homesick for Orlando, and this was our ticket to move back.

We'd sell our house, put some money in our savings, even get to take a cruise for our upcoming tenth anniversary with our earnings.

Contract number one fell through.

Contract number two fell through.

And this past Friday, contract number three fell through.

We're realizing that there's a reason we're here, in this sleepy little town with not much to do. There's a reason we live an hour away from so many of our favorite things and favorite people. I don't understand any of it.

On Thursday, as inspections were underway, I prayed this: Lord, you know our hearts and where they are. You know we don't want to be so far away from our hometown. We're lonely out here. Even so, we want what you want. If this isn't what you have for us, let it slip out of our hands.

It slipped out of our hands, guys.

Last night after a busy Sunday of church and errands, I sat in the garage with Ben. I was just...sad. Did we fail? Did he think that we had failed? Could we have done more?

No. We're out here for a reason. I don't know what it is. Neither does he. But we don't have to know. This year my word has been content. I vowed to be content with what the Lord had planned for us, even if it wasn't what I necessarily wanted. It looks as though he's giving me my chance, yet again, to be joyful right where I am at.

So no. We didn't fail. Not at all.