This is a post about money. If money talk makes you uncomfortable, maybe go read something else. I am learning that there's a freedom that comes from raw honesty. That sometimes when you pour your heart out, someone else has the courage to say me too.
Christmas sent us over the edge, financially speaking. Due to hospital bills and an unexpected, dental insurance denied root canal, we were struggling to pay the bills. Add in presents for our gigantic, blended family (we have 15 nieces and nephews, I am now one of 9 kids, Ben one of 6, not including the spouses) and we were washed to sea.
January came, and it forced us to take a good hard look at things. What were we spending? How could we do better? Was there any hope?
The answer to that last question turned out to be a big resounding YES.
One week I was in the nursery at church with my lovely friend Karena. I was pouring out my heart, for some odd reason. She mentioned that she and her husband Brian (Logan's fabulous teacher, as it turns out) went through Dave Ramsey's financial peace program at the beginning of their marriage, and it has helped them so much. They invited us over for lunch. A life changing lunch, actually.
They had us write down everything. Ben's salary. Our bills. Money in. Money out. It was humbling. And also encouraging. We left realizing that there IS hope.
We cut cable. We sold some of our clutter and made $150. We cut our grocery bill by a third.
And we're okay.
We're well fed. I gave up chocolate, mostly because I was spending so much money on this habit. And then I gave up all refined sugar. Our budget benefited immediately, and my health improved significantly. My tooth pain vanished. My skin started to glow. My energy skyrocketed. And because I wasn't spending money on junk, I started buying more real food. Cooking from scratch. And it's kind of fun. Kind of.
I'm not sure what our next step will be. Every baby step we've taken has had a ripple effect. It's almost a game now, to see how little we can spend and how much we can save.
I think my favorite thing about our experiment has been how it's benefited our marriage. Ben is not a talker, never has been. But during this month of change we've had some raw talks about money, our family, our future. And there have been some miracles.
It's true what people say. When you're at the bottom there really isn't anywhere to go but up. We're excited to hope again.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Content
Whew. We made it through Christmas. Through mounds of wrapping paper and too many receipts and unspeakable joy and extended family awkwardness and epiphanies and resolutions and a New Year's party and 1,000 other things. It was a good holiday season. It was a tough holiday season.
On December 10th we celebrated 9 years of marriage. 9. Yes, it feels like it's been that long. To be honest, life before marriage seems so blurry. We were just kids, almost 21 when we took that leap. But here we are, still standing.
We celebrated Christmas multiple times. We come from big families (a big, BLENDED family in my case. How many siblings do I have now? I've lost count. Seriously). There was tension, because this is the first Christmas without a certain loved one and everyone is grieving differently. Yes, I excused myself from the crowd of relatives to go cry in my mom's bedroom. More than once. And it was okay. There were spats and words said and tears and you know, I guess it's all so normal. We are not special. Siblings squabble and disagree and it's okay. The world still spins. And maybe I am baring my soul a little too much right now, but I just feel like it needs to be said. Families are not perfect. The ones that look like they are, aren't. I guess it's okay not to pretend.
However, Christmas morning with my boys, now THAT was perfect. It was. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids happy. I mean it. It brought me such joy to watch them open presents and jump up and down with happiness. It's what I imagine Heaven will feel like. My little family means a lot to me.
And now a new year is here and I'd like to jump on the train and say I vow to eat less sugar or remember to exercise every day, but I know I won't. So I simply choose one word. One word to guide me in my actions and my thoughts this year. For 2015 I choose to be content, right where I am. To stop wishing for younger looking skin or a nicer car or more babies. Because the truth is I have everything I need, and if I start playing the comparison game I will never come out on top. There will always be someone with more kids, better skin, a nicer home, and a fatter bank account. I am choosing to focus on what I have, not what you have. It's a daily exercise, but I think it's worthwhile.
I'm nervous about this year. I turn 30, my oldest starts kindergarten, my baby won't be a baby for much longer. I can attempt to make time stand still, or I can resolve to embrace the changes. To stop pretending that I had any control to begin with.
Happy New Year, friends.
We celebrated Christmas multiple times. We come from big families (a big, BLENDED family in my case. How many siblings do I have now? I've lost count. Seriously). There was tension, because this is the first Christmas without a certain loved one and everyone is grieving differently. Yes, I excused myself from the crowd of relatives to go cry in my mom's bedroom. More than once. And it was okay. There were spats and words said and tears and you know, I guess it's all so normal. We are not special. Siblings squabble and disagree and it's okay. The world still spins. And maybe I am baring my soul a little too much right now, but I just feel like it needs to be said. Families are not perfect. The ones that look like they are, aren't. I guess it's okay not to pretend.
However, Christmas morning with my boys, now THAT was perfect. It was. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids happy. I mean it. It brought me such joy to watch them open presents and jump up and down with happiness. It's what I imagine Heaven will feel like. My little family means a lot to me.
And now a new year is here and I'd like to jump on the train and say I vow to eat less sugar or remember to exercise every day, but I know I won't. So I simply choose one word. One word to guide me in my actions and my thoughts this year. For 2015 I choose to be content, right where I am. To stop wishing for younger looking skin or a nicer car or more babies. Because the truth is I have everything I need, and if I start playing the comparison game I will never come out on top. There will always be someone with more kids, better skin, a nicer home, and a fatter bank account. I am choosing to focus on what I have, not what you have. It's a daily exercise, but I think it's worthwhile.
I'm nervous about this year. I turn 30, my oldest starts kindergarten, my baby won't be a baby for much longer. I can attempt to make time stand still, or I can resolve to embrace the changes. To stop pretending that I had any control to begin with.
Happy New Year, friends.
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