Why God gives us girlfriends

I live in a house full of boys (just in case the name on the top of the page didn't give that away). I love my people. I love that I get to be a wife to a good man and a mom to the two cutest little people I've ever seen. These people are fun. They like to do fun boy things like see who can fart the loudest, see who can have the smelliest feet, and see who can make me jump the highest by scaring me with lizards (I hate lizards).

I love these people and have fun with these people and consider these people my mission field.
But I'm still a girl (Woman? Can I say woman at 30? The word still feels weird to me). And sometimes I want to talk about my FEELINGS (I'm sorry to be a stereotype. Really). These people don't really like talking about feelings. I get that. I grew up with brothers. But try as I might, I can't make my feelings go away.

I've been wanting another baby. Like NOW. Or YESTERDAY. I know it's not the right time. Ben and I have already established that if we are to be responsible adults, we absolutely must wait before adding another tiny person to the planet. On paper, I totally get that. My ovaries don't really care what's on paper. Not one iota.

Yesterday, I was really feeling it. I keep praying I won't want another. And won't you know, the more I pray, the stronger the pull on my heart gets. It's very annoying, actually. The cool thing about yesterday, is even though I was bummed, in a big old funk, my girlfriends just kind of knew it and started texting me. Emily, all the way from LA, was going on about how wanting a third baby doesn't make me some kind of freak show, that I'm normal, that I am female and it's totally okay. Gosh I wanted to hug her through my outdated Iphone. She was such a blessing to me when I was expecting to wallow and she was just great at lifting my spirits.

Then my other good friend, Andrea, did the same thing. Emily and Andrea don't even know each other, but it was almost like they planned it. Andrea went on to encourage me and tell me that this is not the end of the story, that it's totally okay to be in a funk some days and I am indeed normal.

I am so thankful God gave me girlfriends to do life with. There are so many, and each of them seems to be there for me at exactly the right time. I don't even ask, they just know. And I know it's a God thing. The family I came from is broken, and extremely tangled, and there has been more than a little heartache. But God has placed some key women in my life who have become my sisters. Sisters I can share things with and not worry about being judged. Sisters I can just be FEMALE with. Sisters who remind me that even though I am in a house full of boys, it's okay to paint my nails and watch Parenthood and just be a girl sometimes.

I am super grateful God gave me some of the best ladies around.

Simplifying

Ever since life changed forever back in October, I've been feeling the urge to simplify. To purge my possessions and keep only what is necessary or beautiful to my family.

Back when everything changed, I knew I couldn't make my sadness go away or turn back time and heal my dad, but the one thing I could do is make my home a place of peace. I started reading blogs on minimalism. Blogs that claim that letting go of things that require upkeep and space will help us feel more in control. I decided to give it a try.

Since then, I've made countless trips to Goodwill. I've sold some bigger items. And there is a lot more space. Without mindless shopping trips, there is more money for better food. For family experiences. For memories to be made.

I don't miss the stuff. Not at all.

It's easier to get dressed, because I have five shirts to choose from, not twenty five.
And five is still a lot.

We got rid of cable. Which is another form of simplifying. Less noise, no more advertisements telling my kids they need the latest toy. Now they are realizing they have everything they could ever really want already.

I simplified parties. I used to use my kid's birthdays as a way to invite everyone I know over. It was really overwhelming (and costly). Since October, I can't do crowds. Now, birthday parties consist of two friends from church, maybe a grandparent. You might not even call them parties. But my kids are happier and life seems easier this way.

Since October, I've learned that I don't want to waste time trying to impress people or acquire fancier things. I can't please everyone anyway, and life is too short to try. Money is nice, but it's not the end goal. I am happy, I have everything I need, I needn't wish for more.

March Update

There was a time when I blogged almost every day and loved it so much.
Then I had another kid.
And suddenly my typing time all but vanished.
I love writing.
I love it like some of you like running (I have TRIED to like running. I hate it. I really hate it).
But even though my time may be limited and I can guarantee there is something more productive I should be doing, I'm getting back into this old hobby. Not because I think anyone will read this.
Only because I think way too much and writing is so much cheaper than paying someone to be my therapist.
 So, without further a due, here's a little update on my foursome:

-I turned thirty. I turned thirty and the world kept spinning and I only had one major freakout about where my life is going, why I haven't discovered world peace yet, whether or not my eggs are bad, what I should do with the rest of my life, and whether I should just give up healthy eating and binge on hot fudge because it's all downhill from here. Ben threw me a party. Which was way better than a gift. He invited some of my girlfriends from church and helped clean the house and even steamed the carpets. We partied like it was 1985 and I will remember that night forever.

-I am working on weaning my baby. Yes, I realize he's 16 months old. My goal was always 18 months, but people (relatives) started hounding me to wean him. It really bothers some people when you nurse passed 12 months. We are gradually weaning. Dropping one feeding and replacing it with cow's milk. It'll take a few weeks. I know it's time, but I want it on record that I am NOT weaning because some people keep telling me to. Truth be told it would be nice to not have to watch my caffeine intake or go on a date with my husband (I hear that can be fun).  

-Speaking of opinions, I keep hearing that 30 is the year I stop caring what other people think about my life choices. Oh I hope so. I'm reading The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst and it's opening my eyes to the fact that it's okay to say no, it's okay to not seek out everyone's approval, and that no matter how hard I try, not everyone will always like me (and that's a good thing). I wish I had known about fabulous Lysa back in college. Would have saved me so much money on counseling.

-I've been working on preschool with Logan. Since we are homeschooling, I chose not to send him to VPK, but we've been working at home and it's been good. Please don't roll your eyes when I tell you he's brilliant. I know every mom thinks their kids are, but he really is! His vocabulary is that of a forty year old's. He loves to spell, he loves science, and he loves to quote bible verses (In a cute way. Not in an annoying way, I promise ).

-Our house is nearly ready to sell. We have one bathroom left to remodel, and Ben is working hard on it. The kitchen is done, and I have fallen in love with it. If I didn't miss Orlando so much I'd start begging to stay put.

There's more, so much more, but my kid's breakfast isn't going to make itself.
Happy Friday.