Our second offer to back out.
I didn't sweep behind the fridge before the inspection. I knew it as soon as I saw the muck that was back there. The inspector had pulled out the fridge to check the outlet behind it, and there it all was. As clean as I thought I was, as many baseboards and windows and floors as I had scrubbed....I felt like a failure. They saw the gunk behind the fridge and mentioned it specifically.
I tried to make it perfect, and I failed.
I spent the day wallowing a little. Cleaning more (it calms me?), stuffing my face with ice cream, feeling sick yet again. Have I mentioned that selling a house that you actually live in sucks big time? It sucks big time.
I think the scary thing is not feeling secure. Logan is signed up for classes in August. An hour away from here, because we had faith that we'd be moved into our new home by then. And now I'm just not sure where we'll be. Probably here still.
Disappointment is hard. Whether it's a buyer backing out, another negative pregnancy test, or a painful comment from a family member. It's all hard to digest. Sometimes literally, as is evident by my inability to keep food down these days.
But I guess I still have hope, as silly as it may seem. Today I thanked God for our buyers that backed out, because this was obviously not a deal that was supposed to happen. I don't know why, I don't need to know why. But I can be grateful that something new, something better will come our way when the time is right. In the mean time, we get to live in our nicely remodeled home, with very little clutter because most of what we own is in storage. It's all okay. As cliche as it may sound, I'm grateful for setbacks like the ones we've been experiencing. They make the victories that much sweeter.
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