Welcome! I'm Angela. This is my little corner of the web where I write about my adventures as a boy mom. I love my husband and my kids and coffee and all things chocolate. I'm a horrible cook but I love reading recipes. I am currently teaching my five year old how to read and the importance of hygiene. My other boy is currently teething, so I may sound a little sleep deprived at times. We're a homeschooling, slightly crunchy bunch. We're a little cooky but we sure do love being a family. We can be found down by the river every weekend.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Raw

I know it was nothing I did wrong.
I know I ate exactly the right things, was proactive to the point of obsessiveness.
I did everything in my power to sustain this pregnancy.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

I woke up this morning with horrible pain. A trip to the bathroom confirmed my fears. We were losing pregnancy number five.

I am broken, I am confused, I am wondering why some women that don't even like kids get to have a handful.
I am wondering why my body keeps doing this, when on paper, I am healthy.
I am wondering why women who complain about how much pregnancy sucks get to have healthy, happy babies when those of us that fight with every ounce of our bodies, those of us that take the progesterone and practically live at the doctor's office and don't go anywhere near caffeine or lunch meat or nitrates still lose our babies. Again and again and again.

I have no answers.
No scripture to quote this morning.
Nothing.

My heart hurts.


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